Gone Femme
by Prime627
Summary: Optimus and Airachnid have been married for six years, and then one evening Optimus returns to his house and Airachnid is gone. All the evidence points to him, and he is on a mission to prove his innocence, but will anyone believe him?
1. Chapter 1

I woke up at six exactly. Not an easy feat for me. As I watched, the 59 flipped to 00, and I knew that the 5 had flipped to a 6, and when I glanced over, it was true, and I glanced back to the 00, and it had become 01, 02, 03 and so on as I watched. I slowly sat up and rubbed at my face. There was a rasp of short hair being scraped by rough palms, and I kicked the sheets out from around my legs. I didn't sleep still, not like Airachnid. She slept so still, so quiet in her little ball, almost like a baby before it learned to move. I envied her for that. She didn't wake up feeling like she ran a marathon in her sleep.

I brushed my teeth, something Airachnid had to get me to do. She always complained about breath. How does my breath stink after all I did was sleep? It didn't make any sense to me, but after I started brushing my teeth, her complaints sort of lessened. I pushed a comb through my hair, ran my fingers through the brown waves, and tugged a little. I still had hair. I smiled and turned to the bed, almost expecting Airachnid to be swimming out of the folds and folds of sheets, surfacing like a porpoise and grinning like one at me like I was the most important person she cared about.

 _Hello,_ she would purr as she detangled her limbs. _My mate._

But she was downstairs, fussing and humming over breakfast: pancakes. I stood in the doorway, and I felt dread coiled up in my stomach like a massive snake coming out to bask in fear. But in this light, she looked merciful.

She turned her gaze towards me, her short black hair frazzled naturally and sweeped out like a mane. She patted it down, then her hands swept down her body. She had a shirt that brushed just over her belly button and low-riding jeans. The tattoo of a spider splayed across her side, curving around to skitter up her back if it where live, but it was frozen in the act as a tattoo. She leaned on the island, cupping her face in a hand and she smiled.

"Hello, handsome."

I swallowed and stepped into her realm, her area. I was immediately attacked with the idea that I did not belong there, and my brain was right. This was Airachnid's area.

"Hello...lovely." I accepted my plate of pancakes, and I stared down at the stack of three. She gave herself a half of one, eating it slowly. I finished before her, and I watched her suck the syrup off her fingers.

"Going to the bar?"

The New Oil House was our baby, mine, Airachnid's, and my brother Nemesis'. It was a joke between us Cybertronians in the community we dominated slowly and carefully. Maccadam's Old Oil House still stood, on Cybertron, and he was there in the New Oil House, playing the piano and dancing with the femmes that came in.

I had to open today, and so I nodded. "Nemesis will be there, but he doesn't do a good job. Will you swing my later?"

She shook her head. "I've got things I want to do..."

I expected to see her later that day, and I knew I would face her judgemental stare and a shaking finger in my face.

 _You never do a thing right. Why are you always at the Oil House? Don't you know? We're married, six years ago we got married. Why are you never here? Why don't we go out? Why don't we do something fun?_

I knew she wanted to get out sometimes, and most of the time she would rather work around the house or sunbathe outside. So I waited for her to say that she wanted to do something rather than tow her to her favorite band's concert on the day she would rather clean the bathroom.

I opened the Oil House and waved in the line of twenty couples. Nemesis was among them, grinning from ear to ear and he jumped into my arms for a hug. He was bigger, stronger, and tougher, but he needed physical contact. Our sire didn't care for Nemesis, and our carrier had rapidly declining mental health, and so she forgot she had sons while our sire preferred not to remember he had sired sons. And so we went unnoticed.

Nemesis purred as he stood back on his feet and he nuzzled me gently. "Ready to start the day?"

We worked side by side until closing at four, because it was a Sunday. Sundays were when Nemesis pounded his mate through the berth and when Airachnid got home from shopping or from a nice, relaxing day at the spa.

But when I got home, there was no one there. Airachnid was still gone, or so I thought. I walked into the living room and the heavy chair I had brought from Cybertron was tipped over, and the glass table Airachnid bought was shattered, the wood frame broken as if someone fell onto it. I stared at the mess, knowing Airachnid didn't cause this.

I ran to the phone, called good friends Prowl and Jazz.

"Calm down," Prowl said over the phone. There was the sound of papers rustling and Jazz's question _did you feed the fish?_ "Jazz! Wrangle up Onyx and head over to Prime's place. Apparently there was a break-in." He turned his attention back to me. "I'll see if Airachnid is still wandering around in the community. Stay at your home, will you?"

He didn't give me a chance to speak, and so I sat outside, waiting.

I couldn't spend more time in the house, and I didn't want to touch anything and leave my fingerprints where they didn't belong.

Jazz met me at the door and kept me company while Onyx sniffed around.

Onyx was a German Shepard, but she was mostly black and she had bright blue eyes. She was, in fact, a Cybertronian beast, one no one would cross, not even a human. She came back, growling at me. She had never done that before.

Jazz's eyes widened and he pulled Onyx back. "Optimus, I'm afraid we need to launch a full-scale investigation. Onyx wouldn't have growled at you if she didn't think you had caused something in there. How is your relationship with Airachnid?"

That was a loaded question...Airachnid loved me, yes, and she loved to point out everything wrong with him. She loved to remind me that she had loving parents, no siblings, and lots of credits she could simply spread around like petals in the wind.

"We are fine..." I sighed. "We are rough, but getting the hang of things."

Jazz made a nervous chuckle. Onyx was straining at her leash to snap her jaws around my neck. He jerked on her leash. "I would think so...after being together six years..."

Prowl arrived on the scene with no news, and he froze at Onyx's behavior. Just the other day, when I was over, she was sleeping soundly in my lap, but now she was trying to kill me. "Optimus...what have you done?"

I stared at him hopelessly. I shrugged.


	2. Chapter 2

*Dairy Entry*

 _I met a mech. He's a nice one, not at all like the soldiers my girls and I used to like. Serpentine was all about Kup back when we were young and he was in his prime, but now she can have him. I've got my own lovely mech all to myself._

 _A mech! I can't believe I have fallen in love, and I'm very, very happy. We were at the lake, you know, the Cybertronian-made lake in the community, New Iacon. My new mech helped establish it with Megatron and his darling brother._

 _He gave me the "come with me if you want to live" look, and I followed him around the lake. He smiled at me, cupped my face, and guided me into a kiss._

 _I met a mech, and I got a mechfriend the same day! Just like that! What are the odds? Thank you, Primus. I promise to treasure him forever._

 _-Airachnid i e..._

 _ **The evening of...**_

I sat in the back room of Prowl's police department, but before I tune you into what they're asking me, let me describe Prowl and his darling mate Jazz.

Prowl is a by-the-book officer. His piercing, icy blue eyes miss nothing, and he has sharp hearing. He could tell me which phone was ringing from which cubicle if I asked him while I sat, listening and shaking my head or nodding to his questions. His brown hair was swept back and parted off to the left side under his hat. His uniform was perfect, ironed and pressed the night before and buttoned to the top. He regarded me with a cold, calculating look.

Jazz is more easy-going, more laid-back. His black hair is worked into short dreads Prowl cannot stand, and he has his hat on his knee, his legs sprawled into his mate's lap. His shirt was mostly done-up except the last few buttons, revealing the maybe-not-plain white tee he had underneath. He had deep blue eyes that I cannot not stare into, and he is almost always smiling. Except now. Now he is trying to figure me out.

"Do you know her bloodtype?"

"I think-"

"You don't know?" Prowl wrote that note down. "Mm. Interesting. You don't even know your mate's bloodtype. What about friends? Does she have friends."

I strained my memory, thinking about the last time she siad the words _I'm going out tonight with (fill in the blank)._ "Umm..Lilybreeze!"

"Any friends that she has that are _alive_."

"Gosh fragging darn it," I muttered, pushing my hands through my hair. "No. No, I am not aware if she has friends."

"So what does she do all day?" Jazz sat forward. "Do her nails, chill, jam out to her favorite band?"

"I am not sure if she has a favorite band?" I winced at the looks they were giving me.

Prowl sat forward. "Prime. This is what I see. You were married to Airachnid for six years, you were barely around-"

"Hang on. Past tense?" I started to panic. Were they saying that his Airachnid was _dead_?

"Was! Was. He meant _was_." Jazz shot his mate a dirty look. "I know he did...but, Prime...do you really know what she did all day at home while you were gone?"

I shook my head in a hopeless way. "I...I do not know." I looked away and sighed. "May I go home now?"

"Can't do that, chief. Onyx and Red Alert are over there, snooping around. We also have a few cadets. You remember Strongarm and Siren? Yeah. They're testing out their skills in your home, and we can't have any interference from you," Jazz said, and then he got up. "But you're welcome to sleep here for now. Do you want coffee?"

Coffee. I liked coffee. It was one thing that all Cybertronians seemed to have in common: coffee. I nodded, and Jazz moved his head in a way that invited me to follow him. I walked into the tiny RecRoom where Chase, Hotline, and Dangerzone sat in a circle at the only table, sipping coffee and popping caffeine pills. They saluted me, and I nodded to them while Jazz fussed with the new Keurig they had set up. He mumbled the instructions, copying them and doing a little dance when it started to gurgle.

He pushed me back. "This brand was recalled due to safety. It spits sometimes, and it's funny sometimes, painful the rest. Just stand back and let Pheobie work."

The Keurig wasn't sentient, so Pheobie was the name that Jazz had given it on a whim. He patted his shoulder. "Help yourself to candy, donuts, and sugar when Pheobie is done cooking your coffee."

I nodded and lifted a small box of donut holes out of the larger, half-full box and I sat next to Dangerzone, who chewed on a pill and tossed back a can of Mountain Dew.

"I'll be wired for the rest of the night!" he declared as he crushed the can with already-shaking hands. He threw it at the recycle bin. And he made it in. His fellow cadets jumped up and celebrated before they padded out of the room, leaving me to my own devices.

I felt alone, and I chewed at a donut hole before I pushed the carton away from me. Pheobie finished making my coffee, and I poured milk into the dark brew before I sipped it, letting it scald my tongue. I sat back down and blinked when Jazz walked in, stirring a stirring stick in a mug.

"You know why Prowl wasn't nice?"

"Jazz," I sighed.

"He doesn't think you did it yet, but he doesn't want his fondness for you to get in the way of finding out what happened." He sipped his drink, threw the sterofoam cup into the garbage without looking and he plopped down. "I know what will cheer you up."

What would "cheer me up" happened to be a litter of Cyberhounds truding around in vests that looked like their mother's. Though they were chubby, fluffy, and hardly dangerous, they had a great sense of smell and they located Hazard in moments, woofing and piling onto his form as he laid in the dark behind a pile of dirt in the large yard that was the training area. Jazz whistled and the pups came charging at me, tackling me to the ground and licking my face, my hands. I favored the one with the green eyes, and she seemed to have a fond spot for me.

"Obsidian," Jazz said as he smiled. I lifted her and tucked her into my arms. She squirmed and woofed at me, licking at my fingers. I put her down when Prowl walked to us with a clipboard.

He dodged out of Jazz's open-mouth kiss and he thrusted the clipboard into my hands.

"You can go home now. They found nothing, yet, but we will need to be there for several days. Oh, and Siren would like to speak to you."

Siren was a cute little thing with redish brown hair and deep green eyes. She had an envelope in her hands, and a question on her lips. Or, rather, a statement. "Imagine my surprise when I'm hunting through your lovely bedroom, looking for clues, and find this envelope marked _Clue One_ in a drawer. Care to explain?"

I drew in a sharp breath. "Airachnid. She has a treasure hunt every year for our anniversary and today is our...sixth." I bit back a wail of grief that would quickly turn into relief, and I lowered my head in shame. I reached for the envelope, to stroke the parchment and look at my mate's handwriting once more, but Siren held it childishly behind her back.

"I don't believe you."

Strongarm came to my rescue. "Let him have it, Siren. Goodness..." She tossed the long, blonde braid over her shoulder and held out a box for me. She let me take it. "It's your mate's, I think. It has a bow on it, and I assumed..."

I ripped open the wrapping and tucked the bow away into my pocket (Airachnid despised bought bows. She tied them herself). I opened the box and held up a notebook, the words _Optimus' Ideas_ scrawled in the blank section, and when I flipped it open, a photograph was pasted onto the first page. It was of us, when we were bonded. Under it was written, in very cute lettering, _his best idea yet..._ The _i_ s were dotted with hearts, and my heart softened. I wanted to fall to my knees, but I remained upright.

Siren passed me the envelope after much prodding from Strongarm, and I opened that, too. I read the clue.

 _I am an eager little student in your class._

 _When I'm stuck, I come over to your office_

 _With questions and a request._

 _Let's feel each other,_

 _And lay on the floor together_

 _And ignore the world,_

 _My darling mate._

"I...I actually know this one." I leaned against the wall. "I...I have a class in the community, a class where I teach foreign languages, you know, Cybertronian, to the Earth-born young ones and English to the refugees that come here, and..." I bit my lip.

Airachnid and I would often slip away into my office and make a mess of things on the floor, often ignoring requests to come in. I had to get over there, but I knew that Siren and Prowl would like to come based off her expression.

"We'll go in the morning," she declared and she whistled. Onyx came trotting out of my office at home, holding a load of papers in her mouth.

 _Evidence against me_ , I realized and I moved off to the side. She gave me a glare, and I knew that she didn't trust me anymore. Prowl gave me a sympathetic look and he waved all the officers out.

"Try to get a good sleep, Prime. And I am truly sorry for this, but don't leave the community."

"I didn't do it."

Prowl shrugged with one shoulder. "That's what we're trying to find out."


	3. Chapter 3

*Dairy entry*

 _Optimus is such a lovely mech. He bought me flowers, and chocolates, and he we watched human horror movies and he let me cuddle into his side when the scary parts came. Nothing scares Optimus, not even death or blood. I'm scared of blood, and death, and anything remotely connected to those two. When I had my first period in my human body, I thought I would faint. Good thing Optimus was there to help me. He's such a darling little thing. I love how gentle and careful he was when I started hyperventalating in his bathroom._

 _"It's just blood," he said, and he patted the area that bled. He nuzzled my face and pushed a wad of t.p. into my opening. "We'll get some products for you."_

 _And we did! He helped me figure it out (he's soooo smart), and I can handle_ _that_ _kind of blood only when he's around. I know I'll be safe with him._

 _But, I'm getting kind of scared. The other day, I saw him with his brother, and they were_ _kissing_ _. Full mouth, on the lips. I know they are close, but are they that close to resort to twincest? That doesn't...I don't know. I try not to bring it up, but once I let it slip that I thought he and Nemesis shouldn't kiss that way in front of the customers in the Oil House, and he freaked out! He stabbed his steak knife into the table between my pinky and ring finger and he told me to_ _ **shut up, shut up, you crazy *femme***_ _. He didn't say *femme*, but this is a place where I will not cuss. Maybe I shouldn't have brought it up? All well. The past is the past, and my lovely mechfriend is perfect save his little flaws._

 _I will love hi y._

 _-Airachnid i e..._

 _ **The morning after...**_

I unlocked my office. Who knows what I would find there other than the clue? Airachnid was crafty, and she didn't pull any punches. One year, she found out that I was favoring Nemesis over her after his Cog-replacement surgery while we were dating, and she told anyone who would listen that we were into twincest. Nemesis wouldn't allow himself to be seen around me for months before the rumor stopped with Kup. I have so much respect for Kup now. He is such a kind, old mech. He has a family now, and I wrote a mental note to check him out.

Prowl and Siren pushed their way through behind me, looking around. I lifted the second clue, and Prowl lifted a pair of red...thong panties?

"Ahem..." Prowl dangled the red lacey scrap in front of my face off a pencil. "These yours?" He didn't blush, but Siren was beginning to. She glanced at me, then held out an evidence bag for the scrap.

"Umm..." Did I buy Airachnid underwear? No, no I did not! Was this revenge? Or a prompt to interface between these four walls again? From what I knew of my wife, she did not appreciate thong underwear. She would make gag-me faces anytime she saw girls bending over with leggings and she could see the pathetic scrap of underwear. I made a point not to look in fear of making her mad, and I knew she would get mad, too. Worse than mad. She would break things when she was mad. My carrier made bread before he died, and Airachnid broke things.

"What size is your mate's underwear?" Prowl was making notes. Siren was snooping around.

"Two? Three?"

Prowl stared at me, hard enough to hurt. "You don't know?"

"I have not bought her underwear," I confessed. "But she's skinny," I offered. "Small hips?"

Siren huffed. She was generously curved, and not fat. Her hips were large, her shoulders small. She had the pear shape, and it was pleasing to the eye. I made a point to look away, and I found the second clue on my desk. I had it in my hands before Siren could snatch it away, but I didn't open it yet.

Prowl cocked his hips as he wrote, and he sighed. "Prime, I have to admit, this doesn't look good for you."

I sighed, and he continued.

"Jazz and I have been dating for months, and I have bought him more things than you have for Airachnid, by far."

It snapped out before I could swallow it. "Did you buy him underwear?"

"Size six, boxers." Prowl's eyes snapped up. "He has big hips."

Siren snickered, dropped a file folder into Prowl's possession, and ruffled through my drawers. My desk drawers. I blushed at the mental correction.

Prowl investigated the panties. "Ah, well. I'll have Percy run these by. Maybe he can tell me if your mate wore them recently." He fixed his gaze on me. "By the way, when was her last period?"

Periods for femmes was a recent thing. It was a bonus that came with human bodies, and Airachnid had just had hers last month. That I knew, because I bought her more products, bought her chocolate and what she was craving: pickles and mayo. She was a purring kitten in my lap that week. Prowl actually looked pleased, and he made that note.

"Why do you need to know?"

"In case you two lovers ended up being creators." He shrugged with one shoulder again, and he lowered his gaze. "I wanted to be sure she wasn't carrying when she disappeared, to put my mind at rest, you know? And Jazz was worried. And Onyx has had her concerns, of which there are too many to list in an hour."

I studied my shoes, tucked the second clue in my jeans. "I think I need a coffee break."

Prowl perked up. "Exactly what I was thinking. Let's head back to the station and we'll break over the note."

See? That was why I really did not like Prowl. He was so keen, so attentive. When I said I needed a coffee break, I had put the _alone_ bit in the way I sounded, the way I positioned my body. I wanted him to know that I wanted to be alone without outright telling him so he wouldn't be suspicious, but he doesn't want me to be alone. He knows me too well, and I wish he didn't.

Siren was quick to agree. "I'm in the mood for coffee and donuts. Come on. This place is pretty much clean." The _lucky for you_ bit was tossed at me in her dirty look. I gulped.

She was out to draw blood. And it was working.

At the station, Jazz prodded Prowl about the panties, and they plaid Twenty Questions about them over donuts. Chase and Dangerzone gathered around, and they played too until Dangerzone guessed red lacey thong, and he got a donut shoved in his mouth.

"Anyway," Prowl said after he wiped the glaze off his fingers. He flipped open the file with the panties, and he bared his teeth at the laughter that sounded around the table. "Percy will be coming by with his tech, and I would like you there, Optimus. I want to see your face when he tells us whose DNA is on this scrap."

Jazz whistled, and Prowl's head snapped around to glare at his mate. I blushed and stuffed another donut hole in my mouth, chomping down on it hard enough to make a noise. Prowl dug his fingers into the table at the sound. He left marks. I smirked into my coffee.

"I would like you to stay here until he arrives, Prime, and Percy will be around within the hour. Until then," he sighed as he snapped the file shut, "keep yourself scarse. We've released the information of Airachnid's disappearance and there are people out for your blood."

Jazz shot me a pitying look. "I'm your bodyguard, inside and out of buildings, your home, this department...I'm your second skin."

I shuddered, and I sat in the RecRoom the entire time with Jazz across from me. He had folded a paper into a football, and we were playing. I was losing. My heart wasn't in the game. It was at my ankles. I practically purged when Perceptor walked into the room with his machine, panties in hand.

"Good morning," he chirped, though it was clearly afternoon. "Alright, let's get this over with."

The results were negative, for anyone. No one had worn the panties, and there was no DNA on it, not even a flake of skin or an eyelash.

"Shame," Jazz said. "I would have liked to see who left those behind to startle Primey."

Perceptor had his eyes trained on me. I kept my face blank, but I knew my cheeks were flushed with relief. "Are these something your mate would buy?"

"Not to wear, no. But to prompt interfacing, probably." I snapped my mouth shut.

Percy was merely interested. "You interface in your office?"

"Regularily." I bit my tongue.

"Ah. And so if I scanned your office, I would find her fluid and yours?"

"Definitely." What was wrong with me?

He nodded, and a little minicon skittered down my shoulder and into Percy's waiting hand. It was Truth, a clever minifemme who could make anyone tell the truth, as her name suggested. I glared at everyone in the room, mainly Prowl.

"You don't believe me?"

His eyes were cold. "I have to investigate every angle."

Jazz shrugged, holding his palms out in a way that meant _what did I say?_ and he kissed his mate's mouth. "Don't be so hard on 'im. This is Prime we're talkin' 'bout."

"Mm," he replied, but it was softer, and there was a silent apology given to me through his gaze. I flashed a forgiving smile, but again my heart wasn't in it.

"Okay, what's the second clue?" Jazz leaned over the table and peered down at the milky parchment with the next riddle on it.

 _My handsome, clever mate._

 _You've gotten so far already! Okay, here's your clue:_

 _We first met here,_

 _Tucked away in the green house,_

 _And you said you loved me,_

 _And I said I did, too._

 _Look at us now!_

 _Six years and counting with you._

"Any idea?"

I shook my head, and I forced my tongue to slip through this one lie. "Not the slightest."

 **ooo**

Don't drive angry. If you do, you will break laws. I broke laws. I was so peeved at Airachnid, and I didn't know why. Why was she sending me through this hunt alone? All the other years, we did it together, and now she was gone, undoubtedly at the end of the hunt, waiting with my present. I had her present tucked away in the attic, and I thought about burning it. She didn't deserve her present, not after this latest stunt.

I parked outside of a cabin, the cabin I brought Airachnid to the day we met. The cabin she surrendered herself to me. The cabin we were married at in private. Only my carrier stood witness, and he is dead, six feet under just outside the back door of the wood cabin.

I called it a green house because of all the plants my carrier kept in there. Everything he put in there thrived, bloomed, and grew. If they were taken out, they died. There was magic in there, and I thought Airachnid was bloom in there. She did, but obviously she turned bitter outside of its magical walls.

The door was locked, but the window wasn't. I slipped in, knocked over an orchid, and I quickly righted it, though there was dirt. I promised myself I'd clean it up as soon as I found the third clue. I did, and I quickly pocketed it. Jazz was outside, knocking on the door.

I opened it.

"I told you, I'm your bodyguard. Don't leave me guessing about where you went." He looked around. "I thought you were looking for a green house. This is a cabin."

"My mother's," I said. "I needed to water the flowers."

I haven't watered the flowers in years, and they were still mostly thriving. I briefly let myself think Stormchaser lived on in this cabin, taking care of his favorite things. But not me. No, he let me deal with a crazy femme by myself, let me and Nemesis wail under the cruel hands of our sire. I shuddered.

Jazz led me out of the cabin, but he stopped me. "Spilled dirt by the window, like someone snuck in."

"Oh?"

"Got a burglar?"

"Yes, Jazz. Someone wants to steal orchids."

Jazz investigated anyway. "Looks fresh. You did this?"

"Of course not! I have the keys." I was a lying machine!

"Mm. I'll have Onyx sniff this out, but she hates dirt, and I doubt she'll pick anything up. Got everything?" He gave me the look that said _don't lie to me_.

I nodded, and Clue Three burned in my back pocket.


	4. Chapter 4

*Diary Entry*

 _We did it. I gave myself to him under the stars, or rather, I let him invade. He's a little rough in the berth, grabby and forceful. I have no doubt that his brother, Nemesis, would be tender. When he finished with me, he slapped my cheek, hard enough to bruise, and he smiled down at me and told me he was his now, that no one would want me because I reeked of Prime. I nodded and knotted my limbs around him, trying to make him stay. I felt cuddly, and I wanted to be cuddled, but he was not interested. I had just given him my everything, and I got nothing out of it!? How rude!_

 _But then I found out he had a stressful day at work, and I know that I should have been a little more giving, let him pound my aft into shape as well, though I denied. *Insert longing, loving sigh* All well...as long as my lovely baby is well._

 _And, hey. Maybe there's a lovely baby on the way :)_

 _-Airachnid, maybe pregnant_

 _ **Later that night...**_

When we were happy, Airachnid had asked for a cat, and I got her one, a little tabby kitten with watery blue eyes and a pink tongue and white teeth. She was so thankful, and she kissed and nuzzled me, and we decided to call him Miles.

Miles was now seated in my lap. I patted his fur, then opened Clue Three.

 _Feeling a little homesick, darling?_

 _Well, we can go back,_

 _Back to the place that reminds us so much of home,_

 _And pick up a good book._

 _Read your favorite parts to feel closer to home._

 _Did it do the trick?_

I nearly sat up so fast that Miles couldn't hop down safely, but he did with a spit and a hiss. He was angry at me for not giving him enough warning, which was fine by me. Miles pooped in my bed when I was in the police department, clearing my name.

The place referenced in the clue was the Hall of Records, just down the road from where we stayed. I tore off down the road, and I knew Jazz had woken up from his nap in his cruiser because lights were on my tail all the way there. When I parked and got out, I smoothed down my shirt and forced my breathing to even out.

"Hey, Jazz," I said, willing myself to be cool.

I wasn't.

Jazz smiled. "Out for some late-night studying?"

I held up the one paper that wasn't the clue, and thank Primus and the AllSpark it was an article I wanted Airachnid to see. "Just wanted to know more about this."

Jazz read the article about the shootings in a nearby town and the possible link between past incidents. "Eh. If you find anything out, let me know. I'm on that case." He looped his thumbs into his belt loops. "Want me to tag along?"

What could it hurt? Jazz and I were friends, and in a few minutes, he would be off-duty and cool, back down to Earth and not up on Cybertron with Prowl and his strict rules. I nodded, and we walked in together.

We sat at a table that I had chosen specifically, drug down my favorite novel _Divergent_ by Veronica Roth, and I flipped it open to my favorite page, when Tris found out her mother was Dauntless.

Clue Four smiled literally up at me: _Clue Four ;)_ was scrawled across the pinkish envelope in blue ink that curled and swirled. I stroked the paper, and snapped my head up when Jazz started speaking.

He was bent over the book version of _Monsters and Mysteries of America,_ and he was reading me a ridiculous quote from it, which made him giggle. " _The coworkers that I work with,_ " read Jazz. "Well, I hope he works with his coworkers! I laughed when I should, and I snapped _Divergent_ shut. "Good book?" He was watching me.

"Yes. I will check it out when I am done reading about the shootings." I went to the computers, and I prayed that Laserbeak wasn't among them today. She always made me watch and read dirty things when I wanted answers to clean problems. But she was gone, probably perched on Soundwave's desk while he preened her with his fingers. He was so gentle with her, and I envied that closeness. I ddin't have it with Miles, who demanded food and water and his litter box cleaned. I hoped he hadn't left a present for me thanks to my behavior earlier.

Jazz leaned on my chair behind me, resting his chin on my head. Long ago, I enjoyed it, but now, my skin felt like my blood was actually pins and needles, and I felt squirmy, sick, and itchy all over.

I needed to talk to Nemesis.

I manufactured a yawn, forced my trembling limbs to stretch. "Mm..."

"Sounds like you need to take a nap," Jazz whispered. Fondness covered his words, and I knew I had deceived him. "You had a tough day, chief."

"Mm," I said again, and I logged off. I checked out _Divergent_ , stroked Laserbeak's tail when she wasn't looking, and I hopped into my car.

I couldn't believe how easy this hunt was. Other years, I always needed Airachnid's help, but now...it was so easy. I knew this next one wouldn't be easy. It wasn't.

 _It's that time of the month._

 _I crave, you crave, we all crave._

 _But what should we do?_

 _Pickles and mayo?_

 _Lock ourselves away for the night?_

 _No, instead we will go exploring in the night,_

 _Maybe carve into a few mossy trees._

I did not remember a time when I took Airachnid away during her period. We nearly always remained at home, and I knew that because every time I offered to drive her somewhere, she growled at me, save one time. One time, I got her to see the movie version of Divergent. That was the last happy time.

Miles was waiting for me, as was a nicely piled present, but not stinky. It was purge. He had eaten grass. Again. I grimaced and cleaned it up.

I pinned the clue on the fridge, sat at the island and stared at it as if it would suddenly make sense, and then I picked up my phone and dialed my brother. Nemesis cheerfully chirped that he would be there within fifteen minutes. I thanked him, then crushed my face into my hands and sighed loudly.

Nemesis let himself in, plopped down into a chair, and he laid out a handful of berries. "Yum," he prompted, and he pushed them toward me. They were my favorites, but I felt like doing an imitation of Miles, only this time I wouldn't clean it up. I would let Miles do it for a change.

He shrugged and swept the blueberries back into his palm. He set them in the fridge and instead pulled out a glowing pink bottle of High Grade. "May we?"

I nodded. Why not? I accepted my mug of it, and I curled my fingers around the entire thing, hugging it close. Its warmth crept through the ceramic piece, and it still startled me how warm High Grade was even after it sat in the fridge for months. Nemesis downed his mug three times over, and stared at me expectantly.

"You need me to spend the night?"

I nodded again.

"We'll find Airachnid."

I nodded, again.

He reached over, smiled, and patted my hands. Then he got up, hugged me from behind. "Brush your teeth, will you?"

Nemesis took up residence in the guest room. I was going to sleep on the couch, but I was interrupted (rudely) by a knock on the door.

I opened it and cursed. "Slag."

"Shh," she hissed and she pushed in. She was wearing the littlest dress ever made. Her aft was barely concealed, and in the light she stood in, I saw it was sheer.

"This is not a good time," I whispered, and I pressed a finger to my mouth when she wailed.

"But I walked all this way," she whimpered, and she collapsed into me. Any other time, I would coddle her, but now I was burning with anxiety. "There's a cop in your driveway...you know that?" She sniffled up at me.

"Did he see you?"

"He was sleepin'," she smiled and she went over to the couch, sitting in an un-femme-like way. She had neglected underwear, and a thought came to me.

"Did you leave that red thing in my office?"

"What?"

"I found underwear in my office."

She frowned at me. "You're not making any sense. I didn't go into your office in weeks. You told me not to. Don't you believe me?" Her face crumpled, and I was quick to kiss her tears away. She was immediately better.

"I believe you, I believe you. I love you, you know?"

She pouted and crossed her arms. "You didn't seem excited to see me!"

I heard Nemesis roll over in his berth and I groaned. "My mate is missing! You can't expect me to be pleased to see my mistress."

That snapped her to attention. She smiled. "Airachnid is gone? At last?"

"Shhh!" I pushed my hair back. "Not so loud. Nemesis is upstairs."

"I can't believe it! We can be seen in public together and-"

I shoved a finger against her lips, smudging her lipstick. What, exactly, did she think would happen between us tonight? "Go home."

"What?"

"I need to sleep, so I can find Airachnid."

Her eyes watered. "Don't you love me anymore?"

I'm a nice guy. Did I plan to cheat on Airachnid? No, of course not, and I didn't expect myself to cheat on her with a student of mine, either. I was old, but in human standards, I was a good forty-one. Axa was twenty-two and childish, so innocent. And warm where Airachnid cut me off. Axa was too scared to anger me, as if I'd hurt her. I'm a strong mech, but I don't harm out of anger.

"Of course I do."

She unzipped her dress. "Prove it," she challenged, and the sheer fabric fell to her ankles.

And so I did.

 **ooo**

Morning found us, and I shoveled Axa into her dress and out the door, believing myself to be safe. I had a slept-in look, my hair was a mess, and my breath reeked of sleep (again!), but I didn't look like I had fragged a femme into my couch. I couldn't say the same thing for my couch, and so after I had slipped a tee over my head and stepped into shorts, I padded into the kitchen to get cleaning supplies, and there was Nemesis, his hand wrapped firmly around a mug of coffee.

His eyes were black, hard, and cold. He was regarding me with a look that prompted my flight response to do its job. I had a feeling if he squeezed too hard, I would lose a mug, and I tried to smile and act innocent, but I knew he saw Axa. I knew I was busted. I knew he wouldn't let me off the hook.

"You stupid pile of slag. I believed you. I thought you were innocent." He sipped his coffee, then tossed it back. It burned all the way down. I could feel it, and I could see that he wasn't bothered. When he spoke, his voice had hardened. "What have you done?"

"I didn't kill Airachnid," I blurted.

His eyes narrowed. "I didn't say that you did."

And so I literally and figuratively backed myself into a corner. "I-I mean, I wasn't the cause of her disappearance." He was right over me now, and I was on the floor, curled up. "Frag."

"Yeah, you better be scared. Here I stood, thinking my lovely brother was just that: lovely, and sweet, and too innocent to know what cheating was. But now. For the past three years you have been fragging an eighteen year old?"

"Twenty-two," I mumbled. I lowered my head, and he growled.

"Why?"

"Because Airachnid was snipping me out of her life! I felt alone, and I needed someone to cherish and hold me." I lowered my head so my chin rested on my chest.

"You sound like a sniffling femme, you know that?" He growled and he walked back to the island, splashing High Grade into his mug and downing it in an instant. "I can't believe you..."

My eyes were drawn to the clue, and I froze. I hadn't taken Airachnid to the forest, but I had taken Axa there while she was bleeding. I got up and tucked the clue down, staring at Nemesis.

"Feed Miles, will you?"

He grunted, baring his teeth. "You better be innocent. You better not be the cause of Airachnid's death. If you are, I refuse to recognize you as a brother."

I gulped, and I prayed I could convince Nemesis I was innocent, because Nemesis did awful things to those who did evil and were not related to him. He would scold, ignore, and verbally rebuke if you were related, but if you were not...you took a dirt nap. I didn't want to take that nap.


	5. Chapter 5

*Diary Entry*

 _I found him passed out on the floor, surrounded by High Grade and mech fluid. Nemesis was on him, their fingers laced together. They both blinked wearily at me at the same time, then Nemesis got up, pulling out of my mate with a soft, wet pop. Optimus made a cooing sound and he rolled over, tugging his brother into another kiss while I watched. Nemesis drew the kiss out longer than necessary, and I was given dirty looks while the twins dressed and made themselves presentable._

 _"What was that?" I cross my arms and stare at him with hurt eyes, but Optimus groans and rubs his aft gently, limping off to get High Grade. Nemesis leaves. "Talk to me."_

 _"Why? You're just going to yell and whine." He puts the cork in his teeth and pulls, then drinks High Grade straight from the bottle. I've told him countless times not to do that._

 _I tried to come up with a remark, a smart comment, but nothing. I started crying, and he let me cry. He grabbed my face after a bit, slapped my cheek, and pinched. I cried out._

 _"Such a shame. If only I hadn't have robbed you of your virginity." He rubbed between my legs, hard and rough. "Then someone might like you."_

 _He raped me that day, pressed me into the island so hard there was a line from the edge of the hard, hard granite on my belly. The day after, I bled heavily, and I crawled into his lap and nuzzled my head into his chest. I wanted to be loved again, wanted to be his pretty girl._

 _"I'm sorry," he rasps and he pulls my head up so he can feed me a dill pickle slice with a dollap of mayo on it. I accepted it, and I licked his fingers clean of the juice._

 _"Forgiven," I declared, and I was rewarded with a piece of chocolate._

 _See? Optimus isn't all that bad. He's actually really sweet, caring...if I've made him a jerk, don't see him like that._

 _He has his good days, and he wouldn't try to, like, kill me or anything. I love him, and he loves me...I think?_

 _-Airachnid, unsure?_

 **ooo**

I parked outside the Cybertronian National Park, and I got out slowly. How did Airachnid find out about Axa? I had been very careful, and as soon as that thought crossed my mind, I thought about how Nemesis found out. But before you think about me fragging Axa through Airachnid's side of the bed, let me remind you I didn't frag Axa in my house. In Nemesis', sure, in my office, sure. Definitely in my carrier's cabin.

I walked towards the river, and I passed Arcee with her new mate, Bumblebee, the former mute. They were gazing at the statues of the Thirteen, and any other time, I would too, but I was on a mission. And so was Jazz, who trotted behind me with a stereofoam cup filled with a dark brew and a packet of sugar.

"Pheobe makes it so dang hot," he complained and he yawned loudly. "And it's so _early_."

It was five thirty in the morning. I had drug Jazz out of his berth, out of his mate's embrace. Prowl had whimpered for him, and Jazz whined back as I buttoned him into his uniform ( I had never seen a naked mech before. I saw my father's profile as he pounded my poor carrier into the sheets, and I saw Nemesis' butt once, but I have never seen a full-naked mech), but Prowl was probably out cold now, letting Chase or someone pick up the slack...until he felt his hardwired feeling of duty kick in. It had probably kicked in as soon as the door hit the doorjam.

"Best time to see the river," I barked over my shoulder, then kicked my pace into the next gear until I was sprinting towards where I had last fragged Axa. I found it, ripped off the clue, and read it, expecting insults. Instead I got the next clue, and a warm rush of blood to my face.

 _Look at you,_

 _So smart, so clever._

 _Be quick about this one, my dear darling._

 _I've been bad, really, really bad._

 _You took me here to be had, and boy did I deserve it._

 _Happy fifth to you and to me!_

I was stumped. I couldn't understand, didn't understand, no matter how many times I read and reread. All I knew was that Jazz was getting closer. I stuffed the clue into my pocket, looked at the tree and froze.

O+A was carved into the bark, and _A_ didn't stand for Airachnid. I scratched it out just as Jazz flopped into me.

"Enjoy your jog? I didn't!" He stepped back and showed me his coffee-stained shirt, then he leaned into me again, pouting. "Can I go home now?"

When I laid Jazz back down into his bed, Prowl was still there, but his laptop was on his belly and his sleepy, blank stare was fixed to the screen until Jazz cuddled into him.

"Prime, I need you to stay in your house until further notice. Airachnid's parents are coming down to help with the search, and the media is _chewing you up alive_." He snapped the laptop shut, and Laserbeak transformed and perched on Soundwave's arm as he sat in the corner, observing silently.

I nodded and turned, walking out in a mechanical way. I walked straight into my house and straight into the waiting arms of Springload, who smothered me into a manly-hug that smelled of his mate, smelled of honey, smelled of mints. I let myself clutch him, but it was awkward. _Men didn't hug_ , in the words of my father. _Men didn't show affection to nobody_.

"Optimus, I'm so sorry."

"No, I should be sorry. I did not contact you soon enough," I breathed, and I turned to see Rainwater, who made a soft sound as she wrapped her arms around me. "How did you get here? Prowl just told me that you were coming."

"GroundBridge," she rasped. "We wanted to drive, but we couldn't resist a good Bridge." She rubbed under her eyes and sighed gently. "I miss her already."

I cooed gently, leading her into the kitchen and offering Low Grade. It was the only drink I had left after Nemesis found out about Axa, and Rainwater swatted my hand in a scolding way.

"No," she said. "You should have what's left of your supply. Here...give me that, and I'll make it last."

She started bringing out baking materials, and I realized she was making bread, cake, anything that would make the Low Grade cube stretch.

I whined a protest, but Springload pulled me back and set me down at the island, staring at me in a _I'm sorry, so very sorry, we're in this together_ way. He patted my shoulder, my face, and I felt the first tear go. He flicked it away.

While Rainwater beat the bread into shape, I thought of Stormchaser busying himself, ignoring my sire's rude comments like _you are such a waste of time_ and _you're doing it wrong; such to be expected from a mech like you_ and _you wait till the boy is at school._ Like I said, he thought Nemesis was a mistake, thought that if he ignored Nemesis, Nemesis would go away, but he didn't, and one day I heard Nemesis crying, and I walked into our bedroom. That day, Sire made Nemesis stay home from school, and I found my little brother curled up, his back to me, laying naked on the floor in the corner of the room, his aft red and his back puffy with welts from a belt. Sire's belt. Sire had raped my brother and beat him for existing. After that, he was forced to admit Nemesis was real, and Nemesis knew he was real, because he missed school every day. I would have to tutor him in the tub, washing his puffy face and hugging him close when he was scared. He didn't sleep alone after that, and as far as I know, he hasn't interfaced since.

I sighed, and blinked at the wooden spoon Rainwater set in front of me.

"Lick it. It's good." She smiled that weary smile that I had begun to adopt, and I lifted the spoon with my fingertips, as if the spoon could somehow transmit unwanted memories of Stormchaser kneeling in front of me with this same spoon, coaxing me to lick batter off it while Sire yelled and complained. _Don't mind him_ , he would purr as he tickled my chin. _He's just mad because he isn't half as cute as you are. Come on, now. Lick the spoon. It won't bite..._

"It's good," Rainwater unknowingly finished. I flicked my tongue out, but I didn't taste batter. I tasted bile rising up from my stomach and I purged onto the island. Springload said nothing as he mopped it up, threw the wash rag into the washing machine as well as some of my clothes, set it on high and turned it on. I whined my thanks, then pushed the spoon away with my knuckles.

Rainwater cupped my face. "Have you been sleeping? Eating? Drinking?"

I nodded three times, once for each, then hugged her. I needed a carrier, I needed warmth. What I needed was Stormchaser. I needed Axa. But, like the song states, you don't always get what you want, and Primus had robbed me of a carrier and fate was going to rob me of my mistress, and probably my life.

I knew that my community supported the death sentence, thanks to me. I knew I would be injected with Tox-En, and I knew that people would come to see that. Things didn't look good in my favor already, and that was before Percy found the blood stains all over my house.

He dropped the folder in front of me, and out spilled photos and photos of-

"Blood. Airachnid was, as shown here, beaten to death. In almost every single room, starting in your berthroom, ending in the kitchen."

"She was trying to get away," I rasped. The blood stopped and pooled into a wide puddle not five feet from the back door, and I pushed the pictures away. Rainwater and Springload clutched at each other.

I felt sick again, and I got up.

Percy shoveled the evidence back into the folder. "Prime, Prowl wants me to tell you to stay in the community. It's not looking good for you, and I know you are going to be harrassed by the media soon. Jazz is going to be permenantly stationed until we find Airachnid, dead or alive."

Rainwater wailed at that, and I didn't feel too good about that, either. I purged again, and this time, no one cleaned it up.


End file.
